Tue, 19 Sep 2006 09:11:06 GMT

Title: A Magical Adventure In Wonderland.
Author: somelamekid, sinsofyesterday, radiostation_x
Pairing: Deryck/Cone/Billie Joe Armstrong.
Rating: PG13.
Disclaimer: ...Never happened.
Summary: LMFAOFLAMFO JUST READ IT.

"Hi Deryck. lol," said cone.
Deryck squeaked loudly.
"How are you?" cone asked.
"Horny. ~~" Deryck replied.
"Oh," cone replied.
"*KILLS*".
"*DEAD*!" cone shouted, dead.
Billie stroked Deryck’s shoulder smoothly "It'll be over soon enough..."
"Bitch I’ll kill you," cone screamed and drove a knife through Billie’s face.
Billie stumbled back, confused slightly. 'What had trigged Cones sudden outburst?!' being played over and over in his head.
"DIE DIE DIE DIE WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!" Cone shouted in rage, stabbing Billie multiple repeatedly.
It seemed because of the pop-punk multi-platinum shield coating Billie had made a force field from the Canadians vicious attacks of anger.
"Please... Cone... You can’t touch this"
Unfortunately for Cone, Steff was laughing too hard to come up with a witty response. Cone, however, gave up on trying to kill Billie, and went to stab Deryck instead.
Scratch that. Cone went to go stab Megan instead.
Megan died.
"oh snap," cone said and stashed the body.
Unfortunately for Cone, Deryck had a plan.
He laughed as Steve emerged from behind a couch and attacked the bassist anally.
"... but of coarse" squeaked Armstrong.
"O NO," shrieked Cone, and pulled out his handy-dandy handgun. He promptly shot Steve in the leg.
"so ha."
Steve laughed at Cone's foolishness, for his leg was not the body part captain should have been worried about.
"oh snap," Cone said again, and pulled out his handy-dandy...pepper spray. He sprayed Steve's face and ran.
"tehe."
Cassie sat with tears of laughter rolling down her face trying to see the screen.
Billie stood staring at Cone as he walked swiftly away in his other band mates direction...
"why would Cone attack me? We're not equal. Im a midget and well.. Cone is not. o no"
Cone turned to Billie.
"BITCH ARE YOU MOCKING ME?" Cone demanded, enraged.
The small, puppet-like build of Armstrong stood on a milk crate to meet at eye level with Cone
"Maybe I am. What ya gonna do about it Canuck?" he smirked
"This," Cone replied and promptly bashed the shit out of Billie Joe with a beaver tied to a hockey stick.
Billie squirmed. Something about this made him feel uncomfortable.
Cone turned his back to make sure Steve was still laying on the ground. Deryck, still not in sight.
This was Billies chance.
Billie curled into the fetis position and attempted to call his super non-Canadian friends.
"OH MY GOD NOT THE AMERICANS," Cone whimpered, terrified. One American midget; he could handle that. But if there were more of them, who knows what would happen...
Unfortunately for our Canadian hero, he wasn't the most 'experienced fighter' and would probably get the bacon kicked out of him.
Billie heard murmers from Cones crisp lips. Something about 'Americans'.
The plan was set.
Hopefully, soon... the one they call Way would return.
A heavy breathing noise broke the silence between the midget American and the giant Canadian.
"...What the FUCK was that?" Cone asked suddenly, hearing the breathing.
Oblivious to the evil American's plot and the danger he was in, he continued to look blankly for the source of the sound.
Maybe he had been staring at Cones lips a little too detailed like....
Billie suddenly snapped to reality with the stir of Cones voice.
"huh?" the weak quote-unquote 'punk' rocker asked
Using a corner table, he helped himself and followed closely behind Cone...
'what is that...?'
Cone, although slightly weirded out by the fact that Billie was examining his lips, managed to stay somewhat calm.
He may be Canadian, but he wasn't completely stupid.
"...You go check," he decided, giving the midget a shove forwards. If it was something dangerous, it could 'take care' of Armstrong while he got away.
Cones hand on Billies back with force did infact move him forwards. A moan escaped Billies mouth.
Not a moan of pleasure but a moan of pain. Everyone, even Billie himself had forgotten he was still bleeding because of the serious stabbing marks pierced into Billies ripe flesh.
"...dude.... im like dying"
"...Haha awesome," Cone said suddenly, watching the blood ooze from Billie's flesh.
A pause.
"...I kinda like your flesh," he added with a deranged grin.
Billies eyes moved up Cones body.
'Was he serious?'
everybody liked his flesh however, small some parts were.
The breathing noise became louder. Billie jumped.
"I SEE YOU'RE CHECKING ME OUT," Cone announced loudly, watching Billie's eyes move. "
BUT I-- oh my god what is that oh my god kill it go go go," he whined, giving both Billie and Deryck shoves forward.
Deryck chimed in with a "I thought I was the only one. vinzivinzivinzivinzivinzi"
"..."
Cone paused in thought, not even bothering to consider how Deryck even got there.
...
"You can have me on weekends!" he announced happily.
Cone clearly couldn't comprehend that Deryck is everywhere. Like God.
But even God has feelings, he thought as he looked sadly at Cone.
"I thought you loved me."
"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME MORE THAN AVRIL," Cone shrieked in response, arms folded across his chest.
Billie stood blankly staring at the two Canadians arguing whist cupping his bleeding chest
"...Avril? LMFOLMFAOLMFAO DUDE"
"SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY, SCUM," Cone shouted, pushing Billie towards the breathing...thing. "GO SEE WHAT IT IS, MR. I THINK I'M SO GREAT."
Armstrong had clearly touched a nerve.
"I was desperate, okay?" Deryck said as he started to tear up.
"I HATE YOU," Cone screamed. "YOU'RE THE MOST INSENSITIVE GNOME I'VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE."
Billie turned one last time at the pair and with a single tear falling down his cheek
"...remember me"
and moved forward, limping.
"...drama queen much?" Cone scoffed, rolling his eyes at Armstrong as he bravely limped into...battle.
"WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO YOUR FUCKING PIRATE SHIP." Deryck yelled back.
"WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING MAKE ME YOU STUPID FUCKING MIDGET. I'M FUCKING SURROUNDED BY MIDGETS." Cone exclaimed in frustration, giving Deryck a swift kick in the shins.
"ow. my shin."
"OWNED," Cone shrieked triumphantly.
The dark never-ending fortress made it hard for the green eyed questionable 'punk' to see.
Limping he smelt a smell that seemed familar but not quite.
..could it be?
Cone watched.
Gathering his falling intestines, Billie pushed further.
It was seeming to become a scene from Lord of the Rings without the gay hobbits.
...wait. That was still questionable at this point in time.
'I wonder if he means me,' Deryck wondered.
"Dude...get a plastic bag or something," Cone commented, eyeing the falling intestines with distaste.
...
He couldn't help but notice how sexy Billie looked with all those organs falling out of his chest.
"...tehe," Cone uttered after a moment.
...
'This'll show Deryck,' he thought to himself.
Billie heard a faint 'get a plastic bag' and turned.
Unlike he had previously thought, his deep quest had only taken 10 or so steps.
The shadow of Cone and Deryck stood out from the wilderness.
..Cone looked hot. :heh:
...Billie seemed sort of...retarded - but it wasn't brains that mattered anyway - so Cone gathered his courage, rolled his eyes, and set off after him.
After taking five steps (Billie had smaller legs) he reached the other man.
...
Then Harry Potter came and fixed Billie's wound. Then flew away on his NIMBUS TWO-THOUSAND WOOHOO. omgyes
"...Okay," Cone shrugged, not bothering to question what just happened.
Also without questions a "thanks" emerged from Billies lips as Harry flew off.
The location kept changing, so why not characters?
Billie turned to look at Cones mid section then moved his head up. "...sup"
...the breathing became heavier and a faint '....he was a boy... she was a girl...' was heard.
Cone smirked, glancing briefly over at Deryck to make sure he noticed what was going on between him at Billie.
"Nothin'-" he stopped suddenly, the haunting voice drifting into his ears. His eyes widened, a horrified look implanting itself on his face.
"Oh...god...no..." he whispered, terrified. It couldn't be. Anyone, anyone but her...
Billie could tell he was being used, this excited him in more ways than one.
He dropped his plastic bag full of his insides (but were no longer needed since thanks to Harry; he could live without a stomach and lungs) and parted his mouth "....o no"
Giant Converses came crashing down through the trees. A giant tie swinging from a fug last-season singlet....
".....RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"
the plan became clear. Save Deryck.
Billie seemed excited. Normally that would make him happy in certain places, but he was too busy nearly pissing himself out of fear.
Cone, unsure of where the hell he even was, didn't know where to run. He'd get lost. And...eaten by a cougar. That would be unpleasant.
From a montage of 5 clips it also became clear that they were on a island. In the middle of the pacific that had hallways around ever corner.
Some would call it heaven but for these 3 pop-punkers... it was hell.
Billie reached up and squeezed Cones bicep. "save me for I am short and fairly weak" he cried
...where was Deryck? The question still hung in the air like the smell of sardines after a day left in the sun.
An island! This was terrible news for the poor Canuck, seeing as he couldn't swim without water wings! How would he get himself out of this one?
"Eeeeeeeeeh," Cone whined, although slightly turned on by Billie's touch.
Where WAS Deryck? ...Had the bastard escaped while the two were busy "o no"-ing?
Steff, having never seen Godzilla, just pictured...a dinosaur. Which was close enough.
...
Back to Cone.
"I don't know, but the harder you grab me, the harder I get," he complained.
...
A pause.
"...I mean let's run," he said as an oh-so brilliant cover up.
...":heh: " he...added.
"OKAY READY TO RUN?”
As Cone pulled Billies arm to start running everything Cone had just said sunk in.
..."the harder you grab me, the harder I get"
...could this be? Could Mr Billie Joe Armstrong have a chance with Cone McCaslin?!
This made Billie want to cream his jeans with excitement but he didn’t because he would save his man-hood for later when a giant circa '02/'03 Avril Lavigne wasn’t hot on their heels.
As for right now.. they would set up a quest in search for the Deryck.
Billies mini feet set off after Cones. "pitty-pat" he went.
“tehe. I’m hiding.”
Since Billie didn't exactly...say anything, Cone just read his mind or whatever.
...
Because this was actually Harry Potter's Magical Island...Of Happiness!
...
And Avril Lavigne. That was a downer.
"Okay, where do you think he's hiding?”
"Oh Cone." he whispered "will we make it out alive--" he cut himself off
"did Deryck ever play hide and seek?"
his Billie senses were tingling.
As Cone scampered off to find a hiding place, Billie started counting to 10.
"1..."
"...he was a punk..."
Billie started shaking
"2..."
"...and they had a problem with his bad clothes..."
He yelped.
"3..."
"...5 years from now..."
"o no... 4...."
"...and they've all got tickets to see his show...
"5..."
"...and now hes a superstar..."
Billie was about at pissing himself scared, but being a true leader. He stopped himself (having no bladder now, wouldve helped)
"6..."
The horrid "singing" stopped.
He squeaked. DID SHE FIND DERYCK OR.. CONE?! O NO!
Cone's plan had work. He had oh-so intelligently distracted Billie with a rousing game of "Tag" and began to run through the...forest or whatever it was.
While he skipped (yes, skipped) through the bushes, he kept an eye out for Deryck.
...Suddenly, it became quiet. TOO quiet.
"...deryck?" he hissed, scanning the area.
Deryck ran out from his hiding place in a nearby bush and tackled Cone to the ground.
"I MISSED YOU OH MY GOD YOU ALMOST DIED O NO I LOVE YOU.”

"....10. ready or not here I come!" Billie bounded around the field... or forest... thing looking for the Canadians.
After 2 or so minutes he was out of breath. "....o no"
He sat down on the root of a tree and sighed.
...Had Cone left him?
He didnt want to think of it.
He heard a giggle.
.... A Canadian giggle that consisted of a "eh" at the end.
Was it Deryck or Cone? Only time or until he got up and looked would tell....

Cone gave an ear-piercing shriek, mistaking Deryck for a cougar.
"OH MY GOD DIE DIE DIE," he screamed over and over, kneeing Deryck several times in the chest. He stopped, looking at his 'attacker.'
"...Oh it's just you. Sup Deryck?" he asked happily.
“nmu? :coffee:”
"...where'd you get the coffee?" Cone asked blankly. "...Whatever. Anyway, your WOMAN is coming for us. ... Or you. Probably you. So uh. You gotta go break up with her. Now."
A very shrewd plan on Cone's part.
"...Can't you do it for me? [cry]" Deryck asked the tall Canadian, once again tearing up.
"But she'll beat me uuuup," Cone whined.
Great, now he had two crisises to deal with. Billie being all sad and betrayed and everything, and now Deryck being a complete wuss.

Billie got up and peered around the tree.
laying there was Cone and Deryck in a tackling-sort-of-way
"...HOW COULD YOU!?!?!!?" Billie ran off crying into the night.
"O NO!" Cone cried in despair.
Whatever would he do? He loved Deryck, but Deryck had already shattered his heart once. And then there was Billie.
...
He was only using Armstrong anyway. Pfffft.
"BILLIE WAIT," Cone exclaimed. "COME BACK. BE REASONABLE."
"tehe." was all Deryck could say to Billie's sadness.
Billie stopped and turned.
The younger... a lot taller man was screaming at him
...would cone scream that much in the sack?
Wait he thought
"Its too late for us Cone...”
Cone sighed, thinking about what he was doing.
Was it wrong to use Billie just to get back at Deryck?
...
Nah.
"How about a threesome? omgyes" he called back to Armstrong.
Deryck looked up eagerly upon hearing the word 'threesome'.
"Slut," Cone scowled.
Billie hesitated with his reply
"..k" he whispered eventually while getting teary eyed.
"k," Cone said back. "*SEX* @ DERYCK AND BILLIE."
"THAT WAS AMAZING! omgyes" Deryck exclaimed happily.
"awesome. now go dump your chick."
Billie came up for air... but not literally came. tehe. He had already done that. :shifty:
And after the seckz... Avril watched and her heart of coal broke and she died.
Hurrah!
THE END. AWH.

writing on the wall